Seesaw of Emotions during my Indore Visit-2012

जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी
जीवन में एक सितारा था
माना वो बेहद प्यारा था ,
वो टूट गया तो टूट गया ...
एम्बर के आनन् को देखो , कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे ..
जो टूट गए फिर कहाँ मिले ...
पर पूछो टूटे तारों का ,
कब एम्बर शोक मनाता है ..
जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी ...

~ Harivansh Rai bachchan

Yes, I am always a bit apprehensive and reluctant to visit Indore and I try to give lots of excuses when that situation arrives with no logical reason; but this time, it was Bindiya’s (Moti’s) mother who called me four months back and I can’t say no to her since I respect her a lot. Moti was, is and will be always on the top of priority list of mine even though that list changes frequently and even when we hardly talk nowadays. She is like an extended family of mine and not just a friend so I will always positively consider the invitation even though I like to visit that place or not.  

Just two days before the visit I had nightmares and I couldn’t stop thinking how my body and heart will react when I will reach at the place which has given me a lot; lot of pain … but as it is said, no pain...no gain. When I thought to write this blog, the main reason was to save my emotions somewhere so I don’t forget few things which was priceless and happened during my two days visit of Indore. 

Life is full of people who will make you laugh, cry, smile until your face hurts, and so happy that you think you’ll burst. But footprints on your heart are the ones that keep your life going.

- Natalie Bernot

Emotions or feelings are not just the result of these two days; it brings back lot of things from past five to six years and I as a “Leo” am not ashamed of portraying what I feel and I hardly care what others feel about it; though at places it may look like that I am taking potshots but it is not specifically meant to hit below the belt; but I believe I have a right to present my side of story and as a “Leo” I will always do that without worrying about any relation will exist after that or not. We Indians always abuse Freedom of Speech!!!  But then…

Should I send you a request?

For me to live with my own wish?

Means, you all have a right on me

More than I do… ?

(It’s) my right, put it here (give it to me)

Someone reminded me on Facebook  जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी when I posted a status on my anxiety and it helped me to come out from the emotional battle I was fighting with my own self and  suddenly I became normal so I would give credit to her for dragging my mind to the right direction. 

My journey started with a discussion with a Bihari gentleman and I felt enriched the way he narrated some aspect of life, money management and importance of visiting famous and religious places of the country. We discussed about computers, education systems and lot more and it was a unique traditional perspective which can be applied in today’s plastic world where we all wear lot of masks!!!

Train journey always snatches my sleep away and no wonder it worked similar way this time around and some women travelers from Ujjain ensured it after 4 am in the morning. Just asking, do women ever look at the watch and then talk or they should watch the place and talk? I have always hated them when they drive, when they THINK and now when they do the talking when it is 4 am in the morning!!! Though I have lots of friends who are girls (One of my friend told me at Impetus Canteen on 29^th October 2012) I won’t stop myself from expressing what I think about them up to certain levels.

It was again Laxmibai Nagar railway station where it struck to my mind that destination is very near and it’s time for a battle and hell, I was ready for it. I took an auto-rickshaw from the railway station but suddenly I felt disconnect at a turn from railway station road to Impetus and I was not able to recollect the places; and there comes a sangam house, sarda house, and industry house; I am not that much connected with Onam Plaza. Amaltas Hotel reminded me the first seven days we spent in January, 2007 and I could feel how disturbed I was in the new environment. I took an auto-rickshaw from station to Apollo hospital deliberately to feel the route from Rajasthan hotel to the Park where I have spend lot of time and it was the place where my idol and I spent few hours and discussed lot of things about life!!!   

Next time if I will ever visit to Indore, I would love to spend some time with him since the wisdom from him changed the way I used to look at life!!! Every word from him has hidden meanings which I understand after lot of time and I always love to listen when he shares the thoughts since I owe my life to him; He taught me a lot when I was nothing and supported when I wanted the support system to come out from the well (noun). 

In between, “Manjula House” came where we lived for 2 and half years and I guess all my roommates will agree that it was a pleasant experience; owners of the house were so good that we never needed to worry about water, electricity bills or accounts. I saw aunty on the 1^st floor and we had a eye contact for 4-5 second but I didn’t go there to meet her, I am still in disbelief, why I didn’t express the gratitude when I was feeling that from the bottom of my heart? Was that a sign of being mature or sign of a person who doesn’t want to express things as he used to do earlier? I will say, it might have happened because of my experiences after expressing gratitude or emotions; people behave as if I am weird and so I don’t express much gratitude since I feel 95% of my “so called near and dear ones” don’t value it. And as an intelligent human being (Yes, I consider myself as the one) I know who thinks what, when and why; the reason is… I am the worst thinker… from all the side of the coin so I understand it bit better and none has proved me wrong YET. Sorry Uncle and Aunty…

गेहू  के  साथ  घुन  भी  पिसता  है!! (Corrected!!)

I missed Hemant, I got a friend for a lifetime. He is younger than me but he taught me a lot in my Impetus days! We enjoyed our 3 years of stay not only as a roommate but as a life-long friend also. I always believe roommates can’t me best of friends and they always complain about each other behind their back but he was an exception.

To continue, from where I left… I was waiting patiently for a friend since I was not aware of the address just near the park and I had doubts whether he will come within minutes or sleep again after receiving the call; but to my surprise he was there and looking at my MAKHNUUUUUU after a long time…I couldn’t resist running towards him and hug him in usual style and that was a KODAK moment of the morning. We reached at his home and I was smiling after looking at his home since it was neat and clean; credit goes to Bhabhi-jaan. I could recollect the valuable time I spent with Nitesh in emotional discussion few years ago at a park near Vijaynagar (If my memory serves me right) and mapping with that with his current life, I was very happy for him. Sometimes you wish some people always well not because you are good…because they themselves are so good that you can’t wish them anything else then great life!!! Makhnuuuuuuuuuuuuu…long-live with all the happiness in the world. I still can’t forget the photo of him when he was devastated to not to see the tiger after two safaris at Ranthambhor.

We three (Bhabhi, Nitesh & I), sat with biscuits, tea, and some namkeen in gallery where I could see my favorite park which was my best companion at the time of my stay at Indore and the view was just amazing!!! It was fun to see Nitesh and Bhabhi. Couples are such a delight when they pull each other’s leg and always admire that thing where you take life a bit less serious at times. After an hour or so we decided to call one of the most intelligent minds of our 2007 batch, Munal - Mr. Thread. He is the nicest person I have ever come to know in my life; he will travel miles to visit friend’s reception for 10 minutes; he will do everything in a good way and will never misbehave with anyone; he is extremely punctual even though he may not be well organized every time. In 2007, I had an instant “click” with him because when I see better MAN than I, I respect and value that relation the most because somewhere down the line, I want to be like him. We did our first ever signature style “Hey Hey Hey” when we were standing nearby medical stores behind the sarda house building; 

(I am not a girl who remembers all the dates :p I have that photograph so I remember.) I asked him to tell me the place but he couldn’t recollect… I could, because I had a photograph of that moment.  Hey Hey Hey…Mari j gayo tu ho k… The most important observation of him for me was, “I add few things to the matter / incident to make it funnier” … I agree with him … I do it… I realize it bit later or while adding the flavors. The only thing I missed was to see his interaction with his wife since she was out of station.

We did our breakfast which included Jalebi, Poha (made by Bhabhi), Samosa, and Thepla and that was a bit heavy but was good enough to help me to sleep for next 3-4 hours :-O. Suddenly it was 12:30 pm; I called Bhai (Khushboo) in the morning about lunch plan so she came around that time. Bhabhi and she both were busy in the kitchen. Just before she came, I went to Anand Bazaar with Makhnu and that road reminded me lot of things in the past!!! The turn at which I was standing with Mother India (Akkusssssssss - Aakanksha) when she accompanied me for Khajrana Mandir for the very first time; there was a sanchi point, Sapana Sandwich where I eat some sandwiches with Partner (Nirali) on the last day when I left Impetus and Indore; Flower and vegetable shops from where I purchased flowers and vegetable to decorate desks on birthdays; gift shops, Aapoorti, Axis Bank ATM from where I withdrew money first time in my life with the help of Hemant; Apna sweets, Cake365, Reliance Fresh, and Fantasy where I made the biggest mistake of my life and that mistake helped a lot to learn how to deal with people within next five years and till the end of my life. It was a roller coaster ride within those few minutes. Now I realize what Vinay Sir told me, “If you can’t recollect the memories of older times when you come to that place then there is no meaning of that time spend by you at that time… but you also need to detach from it when you leave that place” … So true and happy to tell you sir, same thing has happened.  

Finally, we bought few things Reliance Fresh (Another name of Makhnuuuuuu) and Pooja Dairy I guess; we took Garlic Chatni also and later found out that Bhabhi made it at home only and that was outstanding… Bhai was at Makhnu’s home and she and Bhabhi was ready with the food when we reached at home and the next 30 minutes were packed with fun and masti as we completed our lunch. Makhnu, salad made by Bhabhi was mind boggling, loved it very much!!! Enjoyed that a lot and Bhabhi’s patience in kitchen was mesmerizing me since I feel that is not the unique characteristic in modern girls (My personal Point of View). 

I was bit worried also since I needed to report to Moti’s home but I was extremely tired also. Then the fun started, Bhai left for office since she needed to complete her work and we four started a infinite loop of…let’s sleep -> Let’s drink tea -> Let’s go out … It took us two hours to decide what to do from these three choices but in between we got one funniest move…

Force … Force … Force (Kodak Animated Moment :D )

We started this…to shake Makhnu’s heavy body with all our energy and we suddenly relized it was a great fun since Bhabhi was also in our team. It continued till I left Indore and it will continue till the end of life. Hey Hey Hey and Force Force Force are two signature styles we have created from nowhereJ. Finally we all had some sleep and we decided to visit Khajrana Temple so I can reach at Moti’s home with minimal difficulties. After “Oh My God”, I have stopped all my transactions with the God and I am focusing on the faith part bit more so I was not willing to buy anything except Prasad because I wanted to give it to Gesu since she was stepping ahead in a new life. After the darshan, we sat and discussed quite a lot about the temples and other religious practices and none of us was in support of most of them but concluded the topic with the similar ending which the movie had!!! 

I had to leave for Moti’s home so I left the temple bit early and moved towards Bengali Churaha and called Moti so she can direct me to her new home; she came to direct me to her home and that was a real Chakravyuh but finally reached to her home. I like the way Bihari language is spoken; that tone is just awesome!!! Uncle and aunty have always showered their love and Masi was also there; it is very comfortable environment and my system behaves as if I am at home. Considering there were other relatives also, I decided to leave bit early so I can have rest also and I can reach at Makhnu’s home on time. Moti, Rupesh and I did some masti and talked about how things are going; we did some gharba and dance also and then after I left her home and fortunately I reached home as per given direction. At Makhnu’s home we ordered Dominos Pizza and did our signature move couple of times… Force…Force…Force J. After dinner, we had a prolonged discussion on organization’s practices, politics, ethics, and dedication and it was really a fruitful discussion since Makhnu and our one of the brightest mind Mr.Thread gave different perspective and added some flavor of emotions as well. After completing the discussion, I made some plan for the next day since I wanted to meet almost all from Lower to Upper level people with whom I had a CONNECTION in Impetus, so priorities were set.  

29^th November started with refreshing emotions in morning since I was completely in control and didn’t allow my emotions to drive my mind. It started with a typical routine, Poha + Usal Poha + Tea and boyyy … It was amazing @ Jain Saab’s shop just in front of Apollo Hospital. We discussed again what we left at night, about organizations and how things work!!! After finishing the mind boggling experience of eating Poha in the morning after 2.5 years, I went to Munal’s home and again I was smiling when I saw the home; it was well organized and I never saw Munal like that; I couldn’t stop smiling but wanted to hide that from him J… It was a good change and I guess marriage has been the best thing happened to him; after that he is bit changed for a good reason and when I consider the fact that he is one of the nicest person on the earth I have ever met, I am happy that someone is exclusively there to take care of him!!! 

I went to Makhnu’s home and within half an hour I was ready to go to the organization which was like a second home; which gave me a strength to step up to the ladder of the world. Impetus is a witness of my weaknesses and strengths!!! Meeting rooms witnessed my break downs and my will to uplift myself from the ground! It has witnessed my frustrations and angers and I don’t think even my closest friends knows what the walls of Impetus knows about me! What I am going to write within next section may not be controlled by my mind because I don’t allow my mind to work at certain places and time.

I was shivering when I started bike and was thinking how I will meet and what I will say; sometimes there is an overflow of emotions at a place where people don’t value it so I wanted to control that because giving people what they don’t deserve is the most regrettable thing I have done till now in my life and that is why now a days I don’t give things in free until and unless I am paying something back to someone because I FEEL I owe something to him or her! I parked the bike and called Bhai so she can give the reference for my entry and to my surprise that was not needed; in iGATE it works that way!!! My mind was thinking so quickly back and forth that I was unable to relate things or map things and was doing things in motion. My first target was Sir, I wanted to spend some quality time with him because it happens rarely when we talk face to face. In the process I found Chhavi and we talked about the life, colleagues, and organizations in a small conversation. I wanted to meet Gaurav bhai since we share similar kind of thinking on Romance and Romantic Movies so I went to the HR department at forth floor, and I could recollect how I used to irritate them with my songs and ring tones; I met Gaurav bhai and Manik Madam and apologized for the same. We three had a good talk and then I left to find whether Vinay Sir has arrived or not and from a distance I saw someone; I could see only a small part of a frame of spectacles but I knew He was the one for whom I was looking for. Hug from him always gives me strength; even when I was vulnerable, his presence and affection gave me strength to come out from the horrible mindsets. When he was trying to make his system (Computer) in better condition, I was going through messages in his mobile and to my surprise I found 90% of messages were from my numbers; numbers which used to have in past. The oldest message was from March 2009 if my memory serves me right. He told me at that time… “Attachment kisi na kisi tarah se raheta hai, I need to go through each message when I have no option other than deleting sms due to the storage capacity of phone”. I read each and every SMS again and I had tears in my eyes (I can hide…but it was very difficult to control for 3-4 seconds) since the person whom you idolize have the great amount of affection and attachment for you is a rare thing. What else I could have asked from life better than that? NOTHING “.” 

Every so called pain looks nothing when you get this kind of relation. I felt overwhelmed and I lost control for a while. For every false relation I had in that city, for tremendous pain I felt just because I wanted to feel the pain, for each person whom I have loved in the city and for each person whom I have hated for nothing or for reasons, for disasters and for happiness…I may never feel the same after certain point of time but few relations will be always same where there is only MAGIC and no temporary emotions comes in between. Sir and I discussed various things at a length and we recollected the memories of Mobile Personalization PoC in iLABS.  Jamba, Vinay sir, Bindiya and I loved and enjoyed our work a lot during that POC. I wouldn’t have become the person I am without his support, the little bit I know about reusability in professional and personal life is just because of him. His observation power is sharp, he quickly noticed how I read the “Push” and “Pull” instruction on the door…wait for a second to decide and then execute the action. He cares to switch off his monitor while going away from the seat; Lot of windows live in his desktop as it used to be in past. I couldn’t have asked for the better person to look up to. Thank you so much for being there sir!!! We discussed at the window near 3^rd floor in the stair case and in between I was looking at the lane behind the Sarda house building where I spend lot of time with Partner; we had lots of fun at that place!!! Tea and Sev Parmal was our usual time pass and that was our walking lane for 1.5 years. I would not like to reveal much on what we (Sir and I) discussed; Chhavi joined in the later part of discussion and we discussed the changes iLABS have seen in past few years and how we used to work. I have always felt whenever we discuss about any organization; past practices get more support from the employees rather than the practices in place. I had a fixed schedule so after emotional joyride in the discussion with sir, I decided to leave to meet others; Bhabhi was waiting at home for lunch so I was cautious about time. I went to ground floor, called someone who was in the list of people whom I wanted to meet; I decided before I arrived at Indore that, that person must be kicked out from my list but I always give multiple chances to my relations and when my mind says enough; I kick that relation out of my life with no regret. I met her for a minute and decided that it is time to shut the door (Bhai, before you suggested, when we were discussing in the canteen on that day…It was pre-decided to get rid from that baggage.). That person has been given an exist from my phone memory or in my facebook account. My online space is precious. Relations are not for hiiiiis and helloooos; it is a responsibility and if any person doesn’t give respect … He or she needs to be thrown away. Momentary affections are more dangerous; sometimes some people fake it, if you have hardly talk with a person twice in 6 years, how the hell you claim as if you have missed him or her as if you are a best friend? There is a huge question mark on those affections and I personally don’t endorse it anymore even if the person‘s intention are not bad; no offense to anybody but everyone has an opinion on this. I couldn’t visit Industry House and Onam Plaza else I would have exchanged warmth with all but I couldn’t see anything special there except Ravindrabhai – Office boy at Industry house whom I have called later in the day to exchange pleasantries. I could recollect the days when Akkus and I used to drink coffee on the first floor; I could actually visualize that when I was on the first floor. She has an aura of a mother around her and  I have always considered her like my mother…

I called Bhai and went to the fourth floor to meet her, we didn’t spend quality time before; we talked about few things and laughed at various things in a manner we usually do; I believe we spent best time when we were in the JMX server console and that was the best time in our relationship.  

We used to seat on first floor, in 1^st cubic and adjacent desks. The best description or analysis of both of us about each other was the testimonials we both wrote in Orkut!!! I believe we both changed or something happened after that time and never had the same peak even though we share a very good relation at this time; It was the peak of our fun and understanding, time changed…circumstances made me go away from my own self and I allowed circumstances to overpower my strengths. I regret it bhai, I couldn’t be same throughout next three years and unfortunately now I make balance sheets in relations so it’s very hard for me to be true to myself as I was at the time of JMX server console project. When we were talking I exchanged pleasantries with two sweeper boys and I was equally happy while exchanging words with them; they are part of my life; they shared happiness with me every morning when I came in the building or whenever we met in those three years. I also have some fond memories of Jalpesh, Puneet, Annie Madam, Sumit Sir, Dinesh singh Tomar, Pankajbhai, Saurabh, Pooja, Nidhi, Anshuman Bhai, Mahesh Morya, Sanjeev Sir, Samiksha Sharaf, Shivendra Dubey, Prakash, Rohan, Mihir, Jignesh, Isha, Anshita, Bharti, Chitra Madam, iCARE team, Finance Team, Shubhi, Admin team, Rashmi, Megha, Nisarg, Jyotiben, Mihir, Arpit, Mona and iLABS Camp.

I promised her to find some time at evening from the engagement ceremony if possible, and left for Makhnu’s home for lunch with mixed emotions. 

Bhabhi showed tremendous patience for two days when I was there; she loves cooking and so gracious that I don’t have any doubt why Makhnu’s weight is increasingJ. After completing lunch I called Moti and confirmed the timing of engagement and decided to take some gift; Bhabhiji gave some tips as well. We had some time after that and we discussed about the life, how SaaS-Bahu serials affects daily lives of families, how one can adjust easily and various aspects of life. I felt she was very genuine and Makhnu, you are lucky to have her in your life!!! She is far away from the modern girl’s mindsets and it is good. She is very much sure about things and life and I firmly believe, many modern day girls don’t have a sense of it and they create non-sense and become a non-sense just because of it. I would refrain from saying more on what I think about girls else it will be an issue; I respect girls but I don’t trust them; only 2-3 exceptions. Bhabhi’s wisdom was awesome and amazing. I had to reach at Hotel Amavilas at 5 pm so I had to end the discussion with her. I left Makhnu’s home and purchased a gift and made that gift bit innovative so it looks different. 

I reached at the hotel just before 5 pm and then got one responsibility to find a saloon for Gesu’s fiancé. He and I drove up to the Anand Bazaar to find a saloon and I spend one and half hours there; meanwhile I enjoyed tea there and felt satisfied that at least I contributed somehow for the occasion. Almost every kind of feeling I had in my kitty till I spend more than 35 hours at Indore.  There was an ocean of traffic I had to cross before we reached to the hotel; engagement ceremony started; Moti and his Babu was looking fab; Gesu was looking fabulous. I was in disbelief how a little girl is moving ahead in new life!!! But it was a good sight; we all were happy to see her taking stride into new life. When everything was set, I thought it is good time to meet bhai again so we can spend half an hour so I left the hotel while engagement ceremony was going on.

I reached at Impetus and found Reshma Madam, she recognized me immediately … Click … Kodak Moment!!! Some fond memories of our iCARE work… 

Bhai and I sat in canteen to talk, She was unhappy with the mail I wrote including outsiders; I have already written what was on my radar earlier so would not like to describe again. We talked specifically on priorities, philosophies and emotions. Yes, I have my priority list now; I didn’t have it earlier but with experiences you tend to become an observer of your own life and you create that list. I find it very funny when multiple friends blame me for that because sometimes the people who accuse you for it are the ones who have shown you that you are not in their priority list and then you need to behave accordingly; not taking potshots at anyone…Lot of people have complained and I always find it funny. People often become LAWYERS when it comes to defend their PRIORITIES and when someone else starts doing it they suddenly become JUDGE and consider the person with PRIORITIES a CRIMINAL!!! Just changed a SMS which I saw in Sir’s mobile and what we discussed earlier on that day for a while. I can recollect plenty of occasions at 3 years of my stay at Indore when I was shown the list where I was not in the “priority” list; it was also an insult in a similar way when someone whom I have proposed makes fun of me; we human beings tends to complain when we get something which we give to others with all kind of excuses and when that person starts doing the same, we complain (Not a potshot at you bhai!!! – Don’t wear the CAP even if you think it suits the context). Even with priorities some relations never changes, but those are exceptions and those are exceptions because I feel I am in debt and need to repay even when that relation may not be in as good taste as it was earlier. We talked about philosophies also and every person have different take on that so it’s not good to give any conclusion of that… Philosophies for me are nothing but what you have experienced in the past and you want others not to go through that channel or you want someone to experience to achieve greater heights!!! 

We talked about emotions, friends, and love… with age and experience definition of all these must change. I no longer believe in friendship… and would like to avoid discussion considering the awesome experiences I have had with my friends; I can’t escape from what I have done in that “friend’s zone”!!! It’s a very vulnerable term and don’t think anyone should depend on it. Bhai talked on how important it is to love others rather than loving yourself… Hang on … this is a direct attack yaar… If you can’t love the person who will never ditch you, how can you love someone else? Think!!! Everyone can show you door, can insult you, can break relation with you but the only person will be always there with you will be YOU!!! Others hardly matters :-) (Personal point of view!!! You may disagree!!!) 

We always talk on same topic again and again and we realized that also during that conversation!!! We laughed a lot even in all the serious discussions and if serious discussions could see both of us laughing and if “those discussions could talk, they would have said please don’t laugh, we are serious :D”. Our discussion went into the most debatable topic from ages. You can’t hold on to the single person if that person doesn’t respect the relation and feeling or don’t have a capacity or characteristics to handle those feelings with warmth…Blaming on circumstances is always a best way to escape from responsibility and I myself have done that in past for various relations…It’s a mediocre mindset and spoils someone’s life… yeah I am talking about Love only! It takes time for person to understand that and until we don’t understand it, we never want to leave that person…

We didn’t talk about the every sentence I wrote and what I am writing; I am just writing what I was thinking when we were discussing. I was bit animated as usual when I was telling her about my definition of that and how I look at it. In past lot of people told me how can you propose someone else when you already had done that to someone else? Won’t it hurt all the girls whom you have proposed? They will feel bad and all that. My answer is simple: “If someone says NO when anyone propose, how that person expects that the person who have expressed his or her feeling should not or  must not express feelings again to others when she or he finds happiness of future with them (Him/Her)? If anyone thinks that way then that person is a pathetic person who don’t want to see the happiness of the other person and extremely self centered because he or she wants attention or want to have feeling expressed to her or him as unique in the context; merely an EGO ”; If any girl whom I proposed…let’s assume she denied…, come to me and tell me that how can you propose someone else once you have proposed me? I will say… Thank god… You said “No”; it’s better not to have the biggest loser in my life!!! Love is always in the air until you find a right person and if you find that person, You fall in love with that person again and again; and if you can’t find … That emotions will be in the air but persons will change until you find the right one. I have always felt it’s magical; it can’t be planned, one can’t create balance sheet where pros and cons are measured and then you fall in love or decide to marry someone; it’s an eternal process; people may not be the same whom you love but feelings and intensity is always same!! It’s always magical and there is always madness in love. If madness doesn’t exist; it’s not love because there is no Magic!!! If you don’t have choice and then you want to love someone then it’s a bizarre situation; Suddenly the leaves of love are flying in the air then the other party must say NO; but the magic of love won’t allow that; That person deserves better person! But this is a “Chakrvyuh” not many play with ethics and integrity… Everyone wants to win looking at the benefits and none can blame anyone!!! It is a tradition from the Mahabharata days where Abhimanyu was killed with ill practices just to win a battle and here Abhimanyu is the symbolic word for Love. I  am guilty at two places where I killed Abhimanyu for wrong reasons but regrets won’t change things. I told Bhai that I regret proposing all girls whom I have proposed because they were not capable enough to handle what I had for them but I realized later that for one Girl, I don’t regret doing it even if I don’t have her and she was not from Impetus...I will always wish her well and will be the first one to pray for her in case required; for other 22 girls I will take a step back(Total 23 - It’s a big number which started from 5^th standard and ended in July 2010);  so that’s what I had in my mind when we were discussing in Impetus Canteen; I had to end that conversation since I needed to reach at ongoing engagement ceremony. (Just to remind…To leave the engagement ceremony in between, also indicates that priorities can be managed even in crisis of time;Please wear the CAP bhai :-) It was specifically for you. In simple words you were in priorities on those 2 days of visit.) It is better to manage priorities rather than lying to people or showing priority list directly or indirectly and insult their trust in you; If I can manage or some other friends of mine can manage then it is possible for all to manage but people take shortcuts to avoid the truth that they find their happiness first and the only way to do that is to insult the trust someone have in you!!! It's better to speak blunt truth which will hurt less to people.

Ceremony was also completed, I gave the gift to the couple…took light dinner and asked for a permission to leave since I needed to catch the train; At. Makhnu’s home we did Force…Force…Force. Munal & Nitesh came to see me off at Railways station, we eat Veg. Momos (Correct me if I am wrong); it was delicious. Train started and we did our signature styles…I shouted to both of them…. AA ja Simran aaja… DDLJ style :-).

Fortunately, I had a good sleep in train which is an exception; In the morning when I was feeling the fresh air of Gandhinagar, I could feel the detachment from the overwhelming emotions I had in two days. Now it’s my city and work. Indore will be always special; you can’t have Roses without Thorns. 

Whenever I will visit this city, My feelings will never change,

For all Good Memories and Good Relations, I will feel,

Barisho Me Bedhadak, Tere nachne se..

Bat bat pe bewajah tere ruthne se..

Choti Choti teri bachkani badmashiyo se..

Mohabbat karunga Main...

For all Memories & Relations, I complain about, I will feel,

Tera Haath Se Haath Chodnaa....

Tera Saayon Ka Rukh Modnaa...

Tera Palat Ke Phir Na Dekhna....

Nahin Maaf Karunga Main...

For all Memories & Relations, I HATE, I will feel,

Tere jhute, kasame Waado se..

Tere jalte sulkate khaabo se..

Tere mehrehm, duwaao se...

Nafrat karunga Main

Mayur came to pick up me at the station, we had a tea and I thought I will frame my memories of this visit and move on with my life considering a line from ~ Harivansh Rai bachchan!!!

 जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी!!!